Mind, Emotion and Behaviour : Bridging the gap.

We're going to be identifying what our behaviors are doing. Let's be honest. We  all having moments where we ask ourselves, why did I do that again? Maybe it's reacting  unkindly to someone or something. Maybe it's procrastinating on something or reaching for comfort when we really need clarity.

So why do we act against our own best interest? Why do we do certain behaviors and repeat them over and over again, even though we know they're not good for us? They're not the best for us. Today's episode, we're gonna explore and understand the gap between knowing and doing and how to bridge that gap by the end of this episode.

Transcript

Speaker: 0:01

Hello and welcome back to My To Soul. Our podcast created differently, a speaks word bot meets transformation i'm glad to have you here today. My name is Ola Boda. I am your host. I'm a trained psychotherapist and a trained psychiatry provider. I treat with all the tools in my toolbox. Thank you for trusting me your mind today. Welcome back. Today we'll be talking about mind mirroring through behavior, how our thoughts is mirrored through our behavior. In the last few episodes, we spoke about thought. We spoke about how our thoughts are created and how to track error thinking. We also spoke about requiring our thoughts. We spoke about tools and things we can do to read via our thought, including scaling it down the evidence test, alternative views. The last episode we spoke about emotions. We spoke about what our emotional defaults are, how those emotional defaults or an interpretation of our state of existence. How to change those emotional defaults that are not progressive for us today, we'll be talking about behavior. When I started the podcast and I started with an introduction, that awareness requires us to understand what our thoughts are doing, what our emotions are. Especially what our behaviors are doing, and that's what we're gonna be doing today. We're gonna be identifying what our behaviors are doing. Let's be honest. We are all having moments where we ask ourselves, why did I do that again? Maybe it's reacting and kindly to someone or something. Maybe it's procrastinating on something or reaching for comfort when we really need clarity. So why do we act against our own best interest? Why do we do certain behaviors and repeat them over and over again, even though we know they're not good for us? They're not the best for us. Today's episode, we're gonna explore and understand the gap between knowing and doing and how to bridge that gap by the end of this episode. You will understand the psychology of your behavior, what drives your pattern, and how to begin to reshape them in ways that will support your growth from inside out. It's only reasonable to psych whether the psychology or behavior exists on three internal factors. It's the thought, it's our emotion. It's a now condition behavior. The thought is the blueprint of our behavior. This is where everything starts. It's the architect of our behaviors. It's the starting point of what our behaviors are. Both new, old and future behavior starts with the seed that is created in our thinking. Your thoughts are invisible. Architect of your action before your behave, you think. Sometimes consciously or often unconsciously, psychologists called us the cognitive behavioral link. What you think directly influences how you act. We spoke about how when thinking is not healthy, behaviors will not be healthy. Emotions is the in between. It's like the glue. It's like the second step. The process of what our behaviors will look like. It's like the energy beneath our actions. Emotion acts like the flow for our behaviors. Anger may push us to argue. Fear may make us feel the need to withdraw. Joy may inspire us to be generous. Warmness might inspire us to be more open. Those emotions. Really determine the behavioral outcome. When you understand the emotional current behind a behavior, you start to see the why behind the what. The last part of that force taught emotion is condition behavior. From childhood onwards, we observed behavioral template from our surroundings. This template become autopiloted to us and it shapes. How we respond in the world. I always say thinking is never conclusive. Thinking is a process that keeps going. Emotion and feelings are not fat because it's gathering information based on what we're thinking. We're still gathering information. Emotion is trying to understand what we're thinking and behaviors are the choices that we make to determine the outcome of. I thinking, when someone tells me, I think in the conversation I tell them, you think or you know, because thinking implies that you are not sure. You are still gathering information. Knowing implies that you now have gathered information and you've made concrete informed decision. So I always encourage moving action when. The process of thinking has completed. Don't move in action. When you are still thinking of something. Move in action. When you know and you've gathered proper information and checked in on your emotions, you've made sure that it's not errored. Then moving to behavior, moving to action there. Passing conditioning shows us that behaviors can be shaped by association. Palo conditioning the dog to salivate. When the bell is ranked, then the dog lands that the bell being ranked meant food. This applies to our real life as well. In our lives, we form association to certain smells that a song or even a look can trigger a habitual response without us thinking about it. And once had an experience where I was invited to my child's school. And upon getting there, I did not realize that being asked to come into the principal office was still an experience that triggered a thought that created my non-verbal response. So my face was already showing up as, oh boy, what's going on? Why am I in the principal's office? And. Unconsciously my behavior followed that thinking of dread, my feeling of dread. And so my behavior was already moving in a defensive stand. I was already on guard and in defense, like, what is this meeting about? And that's because as a young child. Going into the principal's office was a no no. It wasn't a good thing. It was never because you were gonna get an award, it was because you've done something wrong. And so even when there was no need for me to go back to that thought process, my mind automatically gave it to me because that's what it was familiar with. There are some smells and songs on some. Looks, that triggers habitual response without us even realizing it, and that's what classic conditioning is. Operating conditioning teaches us that our behavior is shaped by consequences, reward, or punishment. You may notice patterns in your life where certain actions feel safe because they bring approval or you avoid actions because they bring discomfort over time. This pattern cycles. Habits, sometimes helpful and sometimes limiting. The beautiful truth is we are not forever presented by this pattern. Awareness is the first step towards transformation by noticing our automatic response, you can add with intentions rather than with in impulse. So before I go into awareness and reprogram, just think about a time where a child would. Experience has affected your thoughts, your emotion, and your behavior in present day. I often give an example of being afraid of setting consequences and changing my behavior because I'm avoiding those consequences because in the past, those consequences have not been favorable. The hard work is cultivating awareness and reprogramming. Unhealthy behavior. I love mindfulness because mindfulness allows you to observe your mind before it influences your behavior. It doesn't need you to be judgmental of your thought process. It just needs you to move into it with curiosity, move into it with observing. I always say be the observer so that you can actually identify the error in thinking. Try to think of one behavior you repeated recently, maybe something small like scrolling through your phone, which is mostly a automatic, people call it dim scrolling or something even bigger, not acting properly. In a situation where you would've wanted to present yourself differently, ask yourself, Gente, what thoughts, what feeling, or what fear led me here. It's important to ask yourself the question that the thoughts are throwing at you. Am I anxious of being judged? Because that could help you from isolating from social spaces. When we bring together our mind and behavior, something magical happens. Alignment, your behavior becomes a mirror, of your deepest self. When your action reflects your value, your compassion, and your curiosity and your authenticity, the mind and the soul begins to speak. Ask yourself, are my behavior reflecting who I am? Truly inside? Where might I be acting out of fear, habit, or unconscious pattern? Every small act a kind word, a past before reacting, can repu out for outward. Remind yourself that our behavior is never meaningless. It tells a story often more honest than words even could. This podcast, I really just want you to challenge the last and most important interpretation of who we are, our behaviors. People may not see our thoughts, maybe they might predict our feelings, but they can definitely interpret our behaviors because it's much more open to objective and subjective interpretation. So just think about it. Childhood things that trigger me to act a certain way. Is it fear driven? Is it an anxiety driven? Is it judgment driven? Am I behaving the way I am because it's comfortable? Am I choosing this behavior, because. I have properly evaluated, reviewed, and reflected on what my thoughts are doing or what my feelings are doing. Until you are able to be that self-aware, until you are able to hold yourself accountable from the inside out, your behaviors will always present unhealthy, and that's not always the representation of who we want to be. So do this for homework. Reflect on certain behavioral patterns that has become automatic and normal to you, that have become habit to you, whether getting off from work and opening the refrigerator and grabbing a bottle of drink or grabbing food and just eating it. Why do I do that behavior? Is it conscious? Is it un unconscious? If it's unconscious, moving to consciousness and challenge that behavior, challenge the thought behind it, challenge the feeling behind it so that you can move into a much more healthier well intended behavior. Thank you for joining me today. Until next time, be kind to yourself. Remember, awareness is power, and power is freedom.